Savor the Success - Business Network for women entrepreneurs

I'd like you to imagine, for a moment, that you are in the market for a used car. You decide to shop for this car at two different dealerships. Both places offer makes and models of cool cars that are also in your price range.


Dealership #1: You walk in. A sales person approaches. You start to open your mouth but never quite get out a, "Hello." He hastily shakes your hand, not noticing the brace you are wearing (because you were typing too aggressively). He tells you about the types of cars he has on the lot. He ends with a question, "What do I have to do to put you in one of our cars today?"


Dealership #2: You walk in. A sales person approaches. She sees your brace and says, "I'd shake your hand, but that looks really ouch. What happened?" You tell her. She asks you what you do for a living. You tell her that you are a blogger. She says, "Wow, what's your URL?" You give her your card. She says, "I can't wait to read your stuff." She asks you about your writing. She compliments your outfit. She asks you if you've lost weight. Then she asks for three more of your business cards, saying, "I think some of my co-workers would be interested in your site. Do you mind if I pass these on?" Then she says, "And how can I help you?"


Which sales person is going to sell you that car? The one who gave you the sales pitch or the one who told you that you looked skinny?


It's the one who told you that you looked skinny. (If you don't agree with me, you can stop reading now because you won't agree with the rest of this blog.)


It's the same in the online world. In fact, it's even more important because people don't go online in search of a sales pitch, unless they are specifically going online to buy something at an e-commerce site. No, people go online to:

• Get help

• Feel better about themselves

• Feel less alone

• Waste time

• Laugh

• Get off

There are probably some other reasons, but I doubt very highly that "find a person who wants to sell me something that I don't already know I want" is among them.


Which kind of leaves you in a jam if you want to sell stuff on the Web, right?
Not really.  All you need to do is give people what they want. Help them do what they came online to do in the first place, with the exception of helping them to get off. Unless you work in the adult entertainment business, you ought to leave that one to the true professionals.


Offer advice. Compliment them. Reach out and say, "Hello." Listen to their problems.  Play Facebook Scrabble with them. Send them a link to a really funny video.


If you do stuff like a lot, people will automatically want to know more about you, without you talking about yourself at all.


Case in point: Savor the Success member Lara Galloway and I recently started following each other on Twitter. Today she sent out these two tweets in rapid succession:


"Wanna laugh, cry, & feel understood? Read: http://tinyurl.com/a5asyz and follow @AlisaBow"


"@Alisabow Howdy! Met you on STS, now following you, tweeting you & your blog up because you make me laugh everyday! Take care."


Do I love her forever? Would I offer to surrogate a child for her? Did I immediately click through to check out her website? Yes, yes and yes---and she never once tried to sell herself to me, did she? No, she never once sent me a tweet or message that said, "I am the world's best business coach. You need me or you will fail. Check out my site." No, she didn't do that at all. But I checked out her site anyway, and you should, too. Check her out at Mom Biz Coach.


Conversely, a man recently started emailing me every single blog post of his and asking me to click through and comment. I don't believe I know the man. He's never commented on my blog. I don't believe we're friends on Facebook or following each other on Twitter. He just started spamming me, hoping to turn me into a regular reader.

Did it work? Um, so not. Even though his blog is free (hey, it's a bargain!) I set my spam filter to devour every message he sends my way.


Here are some ways to be more like Lara and less like Mr. Spam Man in various social media sites. The more you give, the more you will get. In fact, it's a good rule to give twice, ask once. In other words, give twice as much as you hope to get in return.


Twitter


* Retweet someone else's tweet. For the newbies here, that means you copy someone's tweet into the message area, with the letters RT and the person's twitter handle. For instance, if I was retweeting Lara's message, it would look like this:


"RT @mimbizcoach Wanna laugh, cry, & feel understood? Read: http://tinyurl.com/a5asyz and follow @AlisaBow"


* Follow through on a Tweet. For instance, if you notice someone asking for people to vote for them in the Shorty Awards, click through and do it. If you see a tweet from a blogger who feels all alone in the world and really wants comments, click through and leave one.


* Compliment them, as Lara did with me.


* Tweet that they are a "Great follow."

* Share something funny, in 140 characters or fewer.

Facebook


* If one of your friends posts a link or note, repost the same to your page, too.


* Suggest someone as a friend to someone else.


* Compliment someone publicly, on his or her wall.


* Comment on other people's posted items and links.


StumbleUpon and Digg


* Submit other people's blogs to these networks, especially the blogs of people you are connected to through Facebook, Twitter etc.


* Vote for other people's blogs when asked.


* Digg only: "Shout" someone else's blog to your circle of friends.


Social Networks like Savor the Success


* Offer advice to others.


* Encourage others.


* Promote others in the network by hiring them, buying their products, or reading and commenting on their blogs.


* Compliment others.


So far I haven't tried to sell you anything. Instead I gave you advice. In a couple strategic spots, I tried my darndest to get you to laugh. I'm sure I helped you waste some time. I bet you are feeling pretty giving right now. Perhaps you are curious about my other blog. In fact I'm thinking you just can't wait to check out Project Happily Ever After and become a lifetime subscriber. You might even want to tell all of your friends about it. Or tweet about it. Or post a link to your Facebook page.


Just saying. You just might.