Angela Jia Kim

Savor Beauty + Spa / Savor the Success - CEO + Founder
New York, NY
http://www.savorbeauty.com

    Toxicity: Spring clean your life!

    February 21, 2013

    It's with sadness that I had to end a 10-year relationship with our housekeeper this past week. I hadn't realized how toxic the relationship had become. I just knew that our basic needs were not being met with services we were paying for, and everytime I tried to voice it, it was met with angry reception. So in order to avoid the drama and to protect our long-standing relationship, I ignored the issues and kept going on with my day... 

    Until two of my employees brought it to my attention. 

    "How come you are allowing this in your life? At work, your philosophy is No Drama, Gossip, or Complaining, and yet you are letting this happen in your home." 

    -----

    This led me to think about toxicity, where it might be hiding in my life, and how important it is to let relationships go when they no longer feel good. This one was draining me of energy, and time, when we repeatedly came up against the same issues over and over again. I had to let it go. 

    Sounds like a plan to me! Let your "feel good" button lead, right? Well, yes. But wait. There's more...

    Taking it deeper, it dawned on me that toxic relationships will occur over and over again if we don't fix one fundamental piece of it: our personal responsibility. 

    I think it's easy to judge the other person and think that s/he is "bad" for whatever is happening. However, when there's judgement, the toxic environment is energized by our negative thoughts.

    Whether the responsibility is allowing this person into your life or your contribution to the toxicity, it's important to reflect on the piece you can own and apply the lesson learned moving forward. 

    Taking on responsibility for your own actions in a toxic relationship gives you an entryway to change. It is the first important step to creating a new situation for yourself that doesnt involve toxicity... so YOU can stop the cycle and have a healthy and happy life. 

    Namaste. 

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