Alisa Bowman
Bauman Ink, Ltd - ownerEmmaus, PA
I am a writer and editor who collaborates with experts on self-help books. My ghosted and co-authored works have sold... read more >
Blog
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Wishes really do come true
June 12, 2009The last time I blogged here, I was caught up in a siege of superstition. I was breaking wishbones, blowing on dandelions and generally doing everything in my power to make a wish come true. I was doing this mostly because I no longer had control. I'd done all I could to convince a publisher to buy my book.
I'd built a blog with a following. I'd gotten media exposure for it. I'd written and edited my proposal a million and one times.
In the end, I just had to trust that an editor would believe what I did: that people would buy my book.
I don't do this trusting thing very well. It's something I should probably work on. I went to a Buddhist meditation class and tried to release my attachment to the "book deal." That worked for about 24 hours.
For the most part, between the time I pressed send and the day of the book auction, I was a nervous wreck.
Thankfully, the book generated a lot of interest from various publishers. I went to New York for meetings, where I was told all sorts of wo [...] -
Do Wishes Come True?
May 7, 2009About a week ago, just before my literary agent started contacting publishers about my memoir, I played wishbone tug of war with my daughter. I'd had the wishbone on my desk for months, ever since STS member Deena Burgess gave it to me attached to a holiday card. I was saving it for this special occasion.
But I should have known, you know? It's one of the universal laws of life. Parents do not try to beat their children at ANYTHING, including wishbone tug of war.
I should have never ever in a million years considered breaking that wishbone with my 4 year old, especially considering that I wanted the wish so badly. All I can say is this: I was a little manic over the prospect of the book---the very book I've been writing and tinkering and editing and obsessing over for two years---finally going out to publishers. I wasn't thinking clearly. No, I was not.
I suppose you can guess what happened. My daughter ended up with the big end of the wishbone. I asked her if she would let Mommy ha [...] -
Note to self: Just believe!
April 20, 2009When I first starting blogging at STS, Angela challenged me to set a goal. I was new to this whole blogging thing. I was feeling really motivated and positive. The blogosphere was my chocolate, you know?
So I said, "My goal is to have 20,000 monthly blog visitors at Project Happily Ever After by January."
Angela emailed back, "Are you sure that's realistic?"
I said, "No, but anything less just wouldn't be interesting."
Well, as you all know, January came and went. I didn't reach my goal. I think I had somewhere in the neighborhood of 5,000 monthly uniques at that time. I was also burned out, mad at the world, and jealous of any blogger who had traffic that rightfully should have been mine.
Just being honest here. It wasn't a pretty situation, and I'm not at all proud of the person I was that month.
It seemed as if nothing was working out in my life. My husband's business was going through some major hard times. Our credit card bill always seemed to be higher than the money that was act [...] -
How to attract 1000+ blog readers---instantly!
April 16, 2009
So you've been blogging for a while. You've been checking Google Analytics for a while. You've been submitting your stuff to social bookmarking sites like Stumble Upon and Reddit for a while.
And, for a while, your traffic has completely stagnated. If you've seen any Stumble Upon bump at all, it's in the neighborhood of 100 or 200 extra visitors, all of whom stayed on your site for all of 20 seconds.
And you keep hearing about these stinking bloggers who are getting thousands of Stumble Upon or Reddit hits. What are they doing right that you are doing wrong? Is it a matter of knowing the right people? Is it a matter of writing the right type of blog (tech stuff versus other stuff)? Is it yet another white male conspiracy designed to keep the rest of us from rising up and claiming what is rightfully ours on the Internet?
I'm pretty sure the answers to those questions are all, "No," with the exception of the White Male Conspiracy part. You know...um...I'm just going to say one thing [...] -
What scary thing will you do today?
April 8, 2009I'm scared of a lot of things, ranging from heights to piranhas, but one of the things that scares me the most is this: rejection.
And I've had plenty of it, so you'd think I'd be used to it by now. I've had my share of breakups. I've sent my share of essays off to magazines, only to get the "this is not right for our readers" response. And, of course, there was the David Sedaris brush off.
Yes, the very David who I love to read. Yes, the very David who I thought I knew, because, you know, I've read all of his books. That David. You see, in February I tried to get my memoir in front of him for a possible blurb. I sent it to his New York literary agent along with a shoehorn, because David had written in his most recent book that he'd always wanted a shoehorn. The one I sent was solid brass. It was an antique.
He should have loved me forever, don't you think?
He didn't. He didn't even get a chance to know about me or the shoehorn.
The entire package---shoehorn and all---came back two d [...] -
How to silence your inner critic
April 1, 2009I don't know about you, but my inner critic is ruthless, and she starts tearing me down the moment I get out of bed and step on the scale. Just this morning, for instance, she sneered, "See? I told you! If you hadn't have eaten that chocolate mouse parfait last night, you'd be two pounds lighter this morning! You had to be such a pig, didn't you?"
I have a Positive Voice, too, and she tries to fight off Mrs. Negativity whenever possible, but she's not always quick on her feet. For instance, this morning, she groggily said, "But it tasted so good. And I deserved it. Didn't I?"
The inner critic pecks away at me all day long. As I parent, she says things like, "You're such a bad mom" and "if you were a good mom, you would..." As I write, she's right there, too, saying, "This is garbage. You've lost your touch. You're washed up. Face it: you should change careers."
Seriously. It's amazing I have the courage to face and live each and every day with a voice like that. But I do. I do becau [...] -
How I broke my addiction to Google Analytics
March 24, 2009No one, to my knowledge, has established a support group for people like me, but someone should. You see, ever since the initial weeks of blogging, I've been a traffic addict.
It started with me begging my brother to activate Google Analytics on my blog. Because I did not initially have access to it, I called him daily to check my stats. I eventually annoyed him enough that he set it up for me on my computer so I could check on my own.
At first I checked just once a day. Then I discovered that I could change the settings and see how my traffic was doing in real time. That's when I started checking multiple times a day.
At my worst, I checked several times an hour. Seriously. Some people chain smoke. I chain screen refreshed.
Several symptoms should have tipped me off that I had a problem. They included:- I felt forlorn and empty whenever I was away from my computer. When I wasn't checking Analytics, I was thinking about checking it.
- When I checked and my traffic was up, [...]
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How to do it all, and stay sane in the process
March 11, 2009
I come from a family of hard workers. On my Dad's side, there are the farmers who survived the dust bowl and the Great Depression. They rose every day at 5 a.m. and worked until dark. On my mom's side are the Russian and Polish immigrants who arrived in this country penniless and persecuted, using hard work, street smarts, and determination to open and run successful businesses in Brooklyn, the Bronx and elsewhere.
My heritage taught me this: The road to success is paved with hard work.
So, during the past 7 months, as I've attempted to launch a blog, I've allowed that to be my mantra. When my eyes burned at 11 p.m., as I stared at the computer screen and attempted to comment on yet another blog in order to drive traffic to my own, I told myself, "I knew this would be hard. It takes hard work to succeed."
When I rose at 3 a.m. or 5 a.m. to write a blog so I would have it out of the way in time to start my official workday (the one that I actually get paid for), I told mysef, "I knew [...] -
The Zen work station
February 25, 2009
I wrote last week about how the Power of Less encouraged me to check email a lot less often. This week I want to tell you how this book has affected my desktop.
I'm one of those people who likes to be able to see everything I'm working on. Because of this, I have not seen the top of my desk in a long, long time.
In this book, Leo suggested that a messy desk is not conducive to a calm mind and productive life. I first thought, "Oh come on Leo. Really. My messy desk works for me. I can see everything I want. It's all at my fingers tips. I don't need to go searching around for anything. It's. All. Right. Where. I Want. It."
And almost as soon as I muttered those words, I started looking on my desk for something important that I needed in that very moment-and I could not find it. After a 30 minute search and rescue mission, I found it underneath another unrelated piece of paper that was also on top of my desk.
"Oh, all right," I thought with a big loud mental sigh. "I'll give your Zen d [...] -
The week I spent without email
February 20, 2009A normal workday for me usually goes something like this:
Daughter wakes me up. I turn on the Disney Channel and bring daughter juice. I turn on my computer. I check email.
Next thing I know it's 8:15 and I'm rushing to make and eat breakfast and get us dressed and out the door before 8:45. I return from the preschool drop off with a latte in hand. I check email and surf the web as my "warm up to face the day." Then I tackle the to-do list, all the while taking breaks to check email, do social networking, Twitter, and so on.
I officially end the workday around 5, pick up the kidlet, and come home and make dinner. I check email as I cook and supervise my daughter. The rest of the evening usually involves her asking me to play, and me saying, "Just a minute," as I respond to more emails. After I put her to bed, I'm back on the computer.
I spend about 10 minutes of quality time with my husband, and then we both go to bed.
This typical workday seemed perfectly normal to me. I mean, yes, [...] -
I almost gave up, and then I took a vacation
February 16, 2009
Just before my vacation two weeks ago, I sent my agent a whiney email. It was filled with "I can'ts" and "this is too hards." I complained of feeling overwhelmed. I didn't think I had the mental energy needed to keep up a blogging career at the same time I was maintaining a freelance writing career. I said that my blog would never gain a big following, and that I would never ever become a "somebody." I was tired. My head hurt. I couldn't think straight. I thought I would soon run out of blog ideas. I didn't think I had it in me to keep going.
After I pressed send, I wondered: Why am I trying so hard? Why can't I just be content with the very successful career I already have? Why do I want more? Can't I just be satisfied with my life as it is? And why am I so whiney?!
Those questions were rhetorical. I knew the answers. I knew why I was trying so hard. I knew then-as I know now-that I'm struggling to fulfill my essential purpose. I have no option. If I give up on this dream, I give [...] -
How to build blog traffic with a contest: part 2
January 30, 2009
A few weeks ago, I described how I planned to drive traffic to my blog through a Wii Promotion. The Win a Wii promotion is now up, and will be running for the next two weeks. Here, I'll briefly explain what I've learned the past few weeks in setting up the contest. Then once the contest wraps up, I'll add another post with some final learning points.
Fewer, cooler prizes are better than numerous, not so interesting ones. There are a few reasons for this. First, if the total prize value for your contest exceeds $500, your contest gets a lot more complicated legally. I could list all of the reasons why, but I honestly don't remember them. My friendly STS Internet lawyer Deena Burgess informed me of this fact, and I trust every legal word that comes out of Deena's mouth. Second, it's easier to keep track of and promote just a few prizes. When you have many prizes, you have many different people to deal with, not to mention winners to pick. Fewer prizes allow you to keep your sanit [...] -
My unofficial guide to online marketing
January 27, 2009I'd like you to imagine, for a moment, that you are in the market for a used car. You decide to shop for this car at two different dealerships. Both places offer makes and models of cool cars that are also in your price range.
Dealership #1: You walk in. A sales person approaches. You start to open your mouth but never quite get out a, "Hello." He hastily shakes your hand, not noticing the brace you are wearing (because you were typing too aggressively). He tells you about the types of cars he has on the lot. He ends with a question, "What do I have to do to put you in one of our cars today?"
Dealership #2: You walk in. A sales person approaches. She sees your brace and says, "I'd shake your hand, but that looks really ouch. What happened?" You tell her. She asks you what you do for a living. You tell her that you are a blogger. She says, "Wow, what's your URL?" You give her your card. She says, "I can't wait to read your stuff." She asks you about your writing. She compliments yo [...] -
How Mom fixed the economy
January 22, 2009
My husband's business isn't doing so well. His checking account is about as low as I've ever seen it. We've managed to keep his store in the black by cutting costs, primarily by not paying my husband a salary.
That means I'm not only the main breadwinner, I'm now the only one. I have paying work lined up until April 1, which, in the freelance world, is actually quite stable. Still, the constant bad news about the economy coupled with the very real news about my husband's store has me on edge.
I keep thinking I'll get off the edge any day now. A few big clients seem interested in working with me. The problem is that they've been interested for quite a while, one of them since before Christmas. Although they gush about how much they love me and how much they want to work with me, none seem ready to commit.
I've been through this sort of thing before. It's part of the normal feast or famine existence of freelance life. Until this week, this uncertainty had only managed to create a [...] -
What I've learned from my addiction to Google Analytics
January 19, 2009My name is Alisa Bowman and I am addicted to Google Analytics. I've been addicted for about six months, since the very first time I opened it. This addiction has, of course, caused some undesirable problems, most of which are related to an incredible drop in my overall productivity. Still, I like to see the glass half full, and the positive thinker that I am has this to say: I've learned a lot from this addiction. I've learned:
- Most people read blogs while they are at work. This is why your blog traffic will predictably take a nosedive on weekends and national holidays. Don't cry on Christmas. They will come back.
- StumbleUpon can bring you a lot of traffic, but it mostly comes from people who stay on your site for less than a minute and never come back.
- Google Analytics defaults to give you a month of traffic at a time, but you can find out how you are doing on any given day by clicking on the little calendar and narrowing it down to that date you want. These [...]
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Everything I learned about blog traffic, I learned by accident
January 15, 2009
When I started blogging in August, I had big goals. I planned to go from zero site visitors to 20,000 in just 6 months. Although I'm not quite at that 20,000 visitor goal, I am moving in the right direction. What follows are the pearls of wisdom that I've picked up during the past six months, most of which I learned quite by accident.
1. Your friends are not your most loyal readers. When I started my site, I sent out a blast email to about 50 close friends and family, asking them to check out all of the cool stuff I was writing. I assumed I'd always have at least 50 people who checked in every day, padding my numbers so I never felt as if no one liked me. Nearly all of them went to my site at least once. Some went more than once, and one or two of them (my mom and her best friend Judy) continue to read every day without fail. (Thanks Mom and Judy. I love you both more than anything!)
One of my best friends doesn't read my stuff ever. I know this because she asks me questions abo [...] -
The ups and downs of site traffic
January 12, 2009So when I started blogging here in August, I told you all that I was going to have 20,000 monthly visitors by January. Now it's January. I might as well come clean.
I'm
not
even
close.
But I'm moving in the right direction. Here's a screen shot of of Google Analytics, from Nov.--when I started the new blog on Wordpress--to now.
As you can see, things have been up and down but, overall, the trend is up. Back in early November, I was getting about 100 people a day. In Decmeber, I started getting closer to 200. In January? I've been somewhere between 250 and 400.
This past weekend, I broke 6000 for monthly uniques. I've got a few ideas that I hope will help me to crest 10,000 by mid March. More about those soon. For now, I'm just keeping it short and sweet. I'm not at my goal, but I'm still happy at how far I've come.
Alisa Bowman writes about the ups and downs of marriage--and life in general--at www.projecthappilyeverafter.com. You can find her on Twitter, too. Her han [...]
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Why I write for free: Part 2
January 6, 2009
Many months ago, I noticed a bunch of HARO (Help a Reporter Out) queries that said, "Looking for guest bloggers...." I thought: "I can't believe these people! They are actually advertising that they want us to write for them for free! The nerve!!"*
Apparently Peter Shankman, the guy who runs HARO, thought the same thing. He eventually banned people from posting "looking for guest bloggers" queries. I applauded his ruling at the time, but now I really wish he hadn't done it.
Why?
I now want to guest blog in the biggest way, and I'm pimping my lovely self out for the very affordable price of absolutely free. That's right. For a limited time of about 1 or 2 years--and possibly even longer--you can receive my amazing guest blogging services for three easy installments of free, free and free.
How could you turn that down? How I ask?
(Note: to date, no one has.)
Why am I giving myself away for so little money?
Exposure: I need more people to find out about my blog, and I need to do it in an [...] -
Why I write for free: Part 1
January 4, 2009
Among freelance writers, blogging and guest posting are quite controversial topics. The debate has two sides, or camps.
The Write-Only-for-Money Camp: "It's bad enough that some writers are willing to work for pennies. Now you bloggers are putting your stuff out there for free. Do you realize that if you keep doing that, no one will want to pay any of us anything?! We will all starve. Is that what you want? Is it?"
The Write-What-We-Want-Even-if-We-Don't-Get-Paid Camp: "But blogging is really fun."
Okay, the reasoning for writing for free is actually a bit more complicated. What follows are all of the reasons why I write for free. I do it because:- I can. I get paid a premium for ghost writing and health writing. Because of that, I do not have to work full time. I have the time available to me to try other types of writing, types of writing that, at the moment, I get paid little or nothing to write (see next point).
- No one will pay me for the material that I'm putting out [...]
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In 2009, I resolve not to lose my mind
December 31, 2008
Thanks to Karen Renzi, fellow STS blogger, for encouraging me to think about resolutions. I've been procrastinating this task. Today is New Year's Eve.
What will I resolve to do in the next year?
That question leads me to ask another question, "Is a resolution different from a goal?" For instance, I already have about 378 goals for next year:- Write two guest blogs a month (more on this in another blog)
- Break down my memoir into a book proposal, get over my fear of rejection, and send it out to publishers.
- Get my local lifestyle magazine to profile me and my blog.
- Hold a contest to drive up my blog subscriptions
I could go on and on, but I'm pretty sure you don't have the time or inclination to read all of my business goals. Still, I think a goal is a little different than a resolution. A goal is a task, something that goes on the to-do list.
A resolution, in my mind, is a life shift-something that lasts forever. For instance, the common "lose weight a [...] -
How to build blog traffic with a contest
December 28, 2008
I've wanted to hold a contest at Project Happily Ever After for a while. After all, all of the blogging experts keep telling me that contests are one of the fastest ways to build exposure for a blog. Yet, I've been stymied for many months.
What should I give away? How do I figure out who wins? How do I make sure people ever find out about the contest in the first place?
Now, after months of reading about contests and studying other people's contests, I've created a strategy. I will write about it here, so the rest of you can learn both from what I do right---as well as from what I do wrong. And, if you have advice along the way, I'd love to hear that, too. Please leave it in the comments area, so others who read this blog can learn with me.
I'm a former newspaper reporter, so I'll give you the run-down on my contest with the 5 Ws and H:
Who: Alisa Bowman
What: Is giving away a Nintendo Wii, along with many other to be determined assorted other prizes.
Where: www.projecthappilyeveraf [...] -
StumbleUpon 101
December 19, 2008I've probably learned everything I know about StumbleUpon in much the same way I've learned about Twitter--by falling on my face. To prevent you from scraping your knees up, too, I thought I'd offer up all of my hard earned tips here.
StumbleUpon is one of many social bookmarking sites. To get started, you need to use either Firefox or Internet Explorer. Don't even think about trying to use SU with Safari. It just won't work.
To get started, you go to this page http://www.stumbleupon.com/ and sign up. Then you download the SU tool bar. You'll know you did it right when you see a little button on your toolbar that says, "stumble!", among many other buttons.
Some pointers:
1) To STUMBLE a site, you do not do what seems to make the most sense: hit the "stumble!" button. No, hitting the stumble button will randomly bring up websites that SU thinks you might like to see. It may be hard to believe, but some people sit in front of their computers and hit this Stumble button all day [...]
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Death by to-do list
December 15, 2008I wanted to get A LOT more done today. I wanted to get so much done that I nearly started my work day last night. Thankfully, I listened to the part of my body that said, "You want to do what?! Nuh-uh sister. Your pillow is calling."
So, at 7 a.m. this morning, I had 9 things on my to-do list. Granted, I always write 3 items on my to-do list that I have no intention of accomplishing. I just put them there in the event of a space time miracle. If I find that the rest of the items are crossed off by noon, I'll tackle the three items.
They've been on my list for a few months now. There is no such thing as a space time miracle--at least not when one does not take uppers or have an office assistant.
Usually I have the opposite. Take today. It's now 4 p.m. I've crossed off a grand total of two items.
What have I been doing all day?!
I can tell you. I've been writing my The True Sexiest Man Alive blog (wasn't on the to-do list for some reason, so I didn't even get the satisfaction [...]
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Everything I know about Internet lingo, I learned from thinking too hard
December 12, 2008Experts say that mental challenges keep our brains young. If that's really true, I figure I've subtracted at least 7 years off my brain's biological age during the past 4 months that I've been blogging.
How could I not have? Not a day goes by that I don't confront some word, expression, or abbreviation that completely stumps me. For instance, a few months ago, I was surfing around a mom's networking site. I'm a mom. The other women on the site are moms. I figured we'd all speak one another's language.
Yet, all of the other moms seemed to be talking in a language I didn't know. In particular, they were using two capital letters over and over again: DH.
"What the heck is a DH?" I thought as I read one post after another.
Through context, I was able to guess that the H stood for "husband." The D part, however, stumped me for a good, long while.
Doofus?
Dingbat?
Deranged?
A D word that isn't fit for print?
Finally, I decided that it stood for "Dear" when the writer was happy with her hubby, [...] -
How to escape from Chinese Fingercuffs
December 9, 2008
Ever had your index fingers stuck in one of these bamboo cylinders? It's an anxiety producing experience. You pull and pull and pull and the dang thing gets tighter and tighter and tighter. You give up and sob your eyeballs out because you think your only escape entails chopping off your index fingers.
Yet as you mourn the eventual loss of your fingers, a strange thing happens: you escape.
Just.
Like.
That.
Indeed, the secret to getting out of Chinese Fingercuffs is the Art of Not Struggling. The more you pull, the tighter they get. The more you relax---or even push in---the looser they get.
For me, chasing after my dream has been a lot like trying to escape from Chinese Fingercuffs. For months, I sweated and struggled. Yet, the more I struggled, the less I accomplished. I worked hard---so, so, so hard---on an essay that I wanted to submit to the New York Times. I can't tell you how much thought I put into that essay, nor how much time.
I can tell you this. The New York Times rejected [...] -
Everything I know about Twitter... part 2
December 4, 2008This is just a short addendum to my last post, "Everything I learned about Twitter I learned from being a screw up."
First, I thought of one additional piece of Twitter knowledge that I learned from screwing up. It's this.
RT = Re tweet. If You see an RT at the front of someone's post, that means they are passing some other person's post forward. I learned this when I--stupidly--responded to someone's tweet with the information her RT had asked for, and then she DMed me, telling me that she did not need the info, and that, had I read the tweet carefully, I would have seen that she was Re Tweeting someone else's tweet. I, of course, responded by replying to her DM in my email inbox, and telling her that I was very sorry for the inconvenience. She never got it, I'm sure, because that is not how one is supposed to answer one's DMs. (See previous post if you have no clue what I am talking about).
Second, a couple people have asked me questions about how to set up a Twitter accoun [...]
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I can make friends online, and you can, too!
December 3, 2008First things first. I promised someone important that I would do this. Check out Storked! on Glamour.com.
That will make sense soon.
But first, a story.
About 6 months ago, I attended a wine and greet for the American Society of Journalists and Authors (ASJA). I had a lot in common with everyone in the room. We were all writers of one type or another, and we were all attending the ASJA conference.
You'd think, among networking functions, this one would have been cake.
So not.
Within 5 seconds of walking into the room, I had that "I'm taking the SATs, but I did not study, have not attended school in the past 20 years, can't tell the difference between algebra and geometry, and don't have a number 2 pencil" sensation. Yeah, it was pretty bad. I felt like the most unpopular kid in school, too. Everyone else had at least one other friend, except for me.
I was at the bar faster than you can say loser.
I downed my wine even faster.
I stood in the middle of the room. I stared at various groups [...] -
Everything I know about Twitter I learned from being a screw up
December 2, 2008
Really, it's true. I'm the type of person who does not read instruction manuals. I'm the type of person who says, "New swimming pool? I'll test the waters by jumping off the high dive." Well, maybe not that type of person, exactly, because I have an intense fear of heights, but you get the idea.
So, when I first read that Twitter was the new Facebook, I thought, "Well, I better see what this is all about." I typed Twitter into Google. I created a profile, and I sent my first tweet. (That's Twitter language for "message.") It was: "Alisa is doing nothing anyone in their right mind would care about."
Yep. That was my first Tweet. And it was true, because I couldn't for the life of me figure out why my one follower at that given moment (why this stranger had wanted to immediately follow me was also beyond my comprehension) should care about what I was doing at any given moment anyway.
For a while, I used Twitter for one thing and one thing only: to announce my new blog posts. I still d [...] -
I'm thankful for...
November 26, 2008
It's that time of year when we all take note of the goodness in our lives. This year I think it's particularly important to do so, as so many negative forces are attempting to drag us all down. When I look back at my life just one year ago and compare it to my life now, I'm thankful for:- Taking control of my career destiny
- Finishing my memoir
- Establishing my blog
- Getting quoted on cnn.com, Pregnancy magazine, iparenting.com, and a few other outlets.
- Meeting so many wonderful and supportive women at STS and elsewhere online. I have the best virtual friends, and I didn't know a single one of you just a year ago!
- Landing a gig as relationships editor at Capessa.com
- Learning how to use Facebook, Linked In, Twitter, StumbleUpon, Digg, istockphoto, CMS and more. To think, just one year ago I'd never even been on You Tube and today I'm embedding video in my blogs.
- Learning the language of SEO, Web 2.0, back links, pings, trackb [...]
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Why Penelope Trunk is my new blog model
November 25, 2008
Way back in August, when I first started blogging, a friend told me about Penelope Trunk. "She mostly blogs about career stuff, but she also writes about her personal life. She's my favorite blogger. You should check her out."
I did. At first, I wasn't impressed, but that was mostly because the initial blogs I read were 100 percent Penelope's bread and butter: career advice. I feel like I should make one of those top 10 lists that says, "You know you've made it when..." Because one of my answers would be, "You no longer give a hoot about career advice."
Yet, I trusted my friend so I kept reading. I even subscribed by email. Soon, Penelope started writing about her life. Yes, career advice was sort of woven through it all. She would start talking about this farmer she was dating-or no longer dating depending on the blog-and she would finish by saying how she pulled herself together to attend a networking function, but she really just wanted to sit in her hotel room and cry.
Been ther [...] -
Happy about what is vs. what will be
November 20, 2008I was reading Penelope Trunk's Brazen Careerist today. One quote popped off the page and resonated with my entire being:
"As I publish this today, I remind myself to be happy about what feels good, right now, instead of focusing on what I want to change right now. Wherever we are in life, we have two, separate lists, and we can choose which to focus on at any given time. Here's three cheers to choosing the happy list for the day."
Thanks for the great reminder Penelope. I soooo needed it.
The rest of the blog is an interview she did for the book Blog Blazers (which is now on my want list). Trunk has made 6 figures off her blog. She made her blog successful when her marriage was falling apart. She did it while writing posts in coffee shops. She's a great blogger to emulate and follow. She's definitely one of my heroines. Here's her link:
Alisa Bowman
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In love: with my business cards
November 18, 2008
My business cards for my blog have FINALLY arrived: all 2500 of them. These have been a long time in coming. One, it took me forever to decide what I wanted them to say and look like. Then I needed to wait for my brother to design them. Then I kept screwing up the online ordering process. The poor people at the company that made the cards had to cancel THREE of my orders before I finally ordered and paid for what I wanted.Then, you know, the pony express had to deliver them.
But they arrived in a big box yesterday. Take a look. Sorry, I'm not the best photographer and my cheap camera has a terrible flash. But you can get the idea. On one side is my logo and cartoon image. On the other is the URL and slogan: Because Life After "I Do" Isn't Always So Charming.
They are full color and heart shaped. I got the idea from Peter Shankman, who spoke at an STS event a few months ago and who uses poker chips for his business cards. His theory is that odd shaped cards stand out. Well min [...]
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How to be Internet Popular
November 16, 2008The American Society for Journalists and Authors (ASJA) has asked me to serve on the Social Media panel for the spring conference. It will be me, Peter Shankman, and one other person.
I'm so flattered that I don't know what to do with myself. I also have this incredible "I've made it" sensation because:- I'm on a panel with Peter Shankman! Peter is the epitome of social media grace. In fact, I learned most of what I do from studying him. Note: if you don't know Peter, he's the guy who established the HARO-Help a Reporter Out-list, building his list to more than 35,000 subscribers in just a few short months. More than 13,000 people follow him on Twitter. (To think I thought I was getting a lot of followers when my list broke 90).
- I'm basically a shy person. At parties, I'm the woman who is standing in the middle of the room, nervously glancing around in hopes that someone will take pity on me and walk over and strike up a conversation. I am NOT the type of person who wa [...]
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Learning to pace myself
November 13, 2008So when I took on this personal project, my main goal was to garner 20,000 monthly blog visitors by January. When I first told Angela--the Savor the Success goddess--about that goal, she asked, "Are you sure that's realistic?" I wasn't sure of anything. Honestly, I'd picked that number randomly. It sounded good. I figured that if Dooce could get 850,000, then I could get 20,000.
Yeah, that's about as much thought as I'd put into it.
As my traffic increased throughout August and September, it seemed somewhat doable, too.
Then my site traffic kind of stagnated at 3500 monthly visitors. Around that time, everything started going wrong--with my personal life, with the world, and with my business. Things started going wrong in the lives of family and friends, too. Early fall has been rough for a lot of people. Just rough.
As I slid closer and closer to rock bottom, a friend gave me a lecture. He told me that I was a distance runner who was launching this business with a sprinter's [...]
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Embrace Failure aka CHECK OUT MY NEW SITE!
November 5, 2008Someone at STS once encouraged me to Accept Greatness. Today, I was reading about blogging, and one of the tips recommended "embracing failure."
It REALLY resonated. After all, the past few weeks haven't been my most successful. I won't recount ALL of the failures, but ....
* My hosting company deleted my entire website.
* I worked my rear off (well, I really worked it ON considering how much desk chair sitting was involved... but who's looking at my butt anyway?) to write an essay for NYT Modern Love, submitted it, and was rejected within just TWO days.
* I thought I was going to be quoted in the November issue of a national magazine. I bought it, opened it and learned that I was cut from the story.
I could go on and on, but the short story is that my path to success has been all uphill lately. A glass half empty person might count up all of these little failures and say, "Time to give up."
That's why I love the idea of embracing failure. What can I learn from these proble [...]
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Me the recovering bobblehead
November 3, 2008It's been two weeks since I met with Bill McGowan at Clarity Media Group for media training. I promised to tell you all about it, like, well, two weeks ago. Then I almost got on national TV only to not get on national TV. Then I got mired in depression. Then my website crashed.
So here I am two weeks later to tell you about media training! I scheduled four hours with Bill for three reasons. First, my publicist suggested it. Second, I did a radio interview not too long ago and when I listened to the result, it was quite apparent to me that I was in dire need of some serious training. Third, the idea of being on TV is about as comforting to me as the idea of public speaking, yet both are quite necessary for PR and for building a platform.
So, two weeks ago, I found myself sitting across from Bill and telling him all about how I sounded as if I was giving my own eulogy over the radio.
"I don't think I sound monotone in person," I said. "Do I?"
He told me that I didn't. More impo [...]
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What I Learned on the Day My Site Crashed
October 27, 2008I lost my website Thursday night. One moment it was there. The next, it wasn't. All that was left? A blue parking page that said, "This URL has just been purchased."
I stared at that parking page for a while. I hit my refresh button a few times. And then panic set in.
"It's gone? Gone?"
I eventually learned that a misunderstanding between me and a sales person at my hosting company had caused them to delete my entire site.
The next morning, my mother called. The stock market was dropping and predicted to fall more than 1000 points. She wanted me to convince her that life was worth living.
"I think I need you to convince me," I said glumly.
I mean, don't get me wrong. My mother potentially losing her entire life savings in the year she hopes to retire is much scarier than me losing a website. But still! I couldn't help but feel as if everything I'd worked so hard to achieve during these past few months was all for naught.
I knew what I had to do, though. It involved a three [...]
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Did I walk under a ladder or something?
October 23, 2008Did a black cat cross my path?
Did I break a mirror?
What? What? What did I do?
Ugh! Grrr!!
Okay, so I'm not even going to go into the past four days. I've written about them in past blogs here. All I'm gonna say is this: not the best days of my business life. I mean, I KNOW: things could be much worse. I could be earning my living by dressing up as an elf for a holiday display. I know. I know. But still! This past week has not been my best.
Well, tonight, the stress intensified when I asked a bunch of STSers to Stumble my Why I Wish I Married Edward the Vampire post on my www.projecthappilyeverafter.com site (notice I did not hyperlink any of that. There's a reason....) Just as my numbers were going up from stumble (150ish last I'd checked), I got a message asking if my site was down.
I checked. Indeed it was.
The reason behind it is somewhat complicated. I'll simplify by saying that a misunderstanding between me and a salesperson at my hosting company caused my hosting c [...]
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I'm So Almost Famous
October 22, 2008A quick recap for those of you who have not been reading along: I'm a ghostwriter who has been trying to break into real writing--memoir, first person, essay, blogging. I've been trying to promote my blog and build a platform for the book, which, thankfully, involve doing the same thing--PR.
And earlier this week, I saw that Fox's national morning show was looking for moms who do not believe in spanking. (They also wanted spankers, but I don't fit into that group!) I fired off an email. An hour later, I'm on the phone with a producer. He wants to talk to my husband. He wants to know if we can be in New York Thursday. I say, "Do dogs lick their butts?" (No I so totally did not say that! But you get the idea).
He pre-interviews my husband.
Then nothing.
This all went down Monday.
Tuesday comes and goes: no word.
Wednesday morning: still no word. I'm thinking, "Hey if I need to be in NY tonight and at your show at 7:30 a.m. for hair and makeup, I'm gonna need to board my dog. [...]
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Schleprock Day Part 2
October 21, 2008I know you are all waiting to hear whether or not I'll be on national TV this Thursday. (You are all waiting to hear this, right? You follow my every movement, right?)
Well, all I can say is this: I have no idea. None. My husband spoke with Blue. We are waiting to hear. Last I spoke to Blue, we were one of the top families under consideration. He also told me that Thursday -- the day they will supposedly do the segment -- is an eternity away. I guess in TV production time, one day = one year.
But I'm sort of getting this feeling that it's not going to happen. And I'm okay with that. (I'm also okay with it happening, too. Just putting that vibe out there to the all knowing universe. I am here for you if you want me on the Mike and Juliet show, okay universe? Here. So here.)
So I will definitely let you all know once I know.
In other news, my bad luck streak SEEMs to have ended. Oh, just writing that sentence scares me. I really am not superstitious, but that sentence does scar [...]
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This Has Been One Shelprock Day
October 20, 2008So this morning I was going to write a blog. It was going to be something about how I'm all done with The Dark Place, thank that Dark Place very much. I even walked my dog before starting work. It was sooo beautiful outside, and I decided to treat myself to some sunshine, crisp air, and movement. It was during that walk, however, that I encountered the first omen of things to come.
The Jehovas were out--in force. I saw the women walking, two by two, up and down the driveways.
It wasn't that they were canvassing the neighborhood that gave me pause. It was my reaction. "If those ladies dare to ring my doorbell, I'm going to release the dog on their sorry bottoms." Whoops, I just thought that? Me? ME? Where did THAT bit of visciousness come from. Bad me! Bad! Bad!
I hung my head in shame. Two of the women happened to be walking toward the sidewalk at that moment. One of them ignored the fact that I was trying to ignore her and said, "Good morning!"
Then I felt even more guilty f [...]
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The Dark Place: Part 2
October 16, 2008First, I want to thank all of you who wrote me--either here in the comments area or privately--about your dark places. It does make me feel better to know that I'm not the only person who goes through this.
Second, I started crying this morning--really for no reason. It's just going to be one of those dew-eyed days where the slightest thing sets me off. It made me realize that my dark period might be a little more chronic than I'd thought. I'd been blaming it on hormones until now. This is about more than just hormones. So I started Project: See the Light. (If you have not been reading my blogging adventures, just know that I am a Project Person. My motto: When in doubt, start a project!")
Because so many of you told me about your "Dark Place," I thought you might want to hear about my Project See the Light. This is what I'm doing to get out of the Dark Place:
* Tell other people about it. This is hard. It makes me feel weak. I don't like people knowing that I'm not invincible [...]
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The Dark Place
October 14, 2008I've been in the dark place the past few days. If you've ever been prone to depression, then you know exactly what I'm talking about. If not, I'll explain briefly. It's that place where everything feels wrong and nothing feels right. In my dark place:
* My marriage was in the toilet
* I was an idiot for thinking I could accomplish this dream
* I was even more of an idiot for thinking that my husband would support it
* And even more of an idiot for taking time away from my established paying work to try to make it happen
* I was a bad mom for not being happy with what I had, and for not spending all of my free time with my daughter
Oh, why go on?
I could go into all sorts of reasons why I felt this way. What it comes down to is this. Last week I was sick. Then I got my period. Then my husband and I got into an argument. Then I started my Capessa editor job and felt over my head because I had to do all sorts of things I've never done before, such as photo editing. And then I [...]
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The Shoehorn Saga: Part 3
October 8, 2008Well, Dad did manage to find a few shoehorns in his closet. We can trace them back to circa 1970. Not exactly an antique in my opinion.
So EBay I went. As it turns out, antique shoehorns are quite easy to find. They are also quite affordable, considering David Sedaris and yours truly are probably the only two people in the world who actually are looking for this sort of thing. They range in price from 99 cents to a few hundred dollars. The higher priced ones were 14 K gold or silver. I don't get the sense that My David would be into that sort of thing. I just don't. This is a man who has an affinity for spiders and dead people, after all.
So after much fence sitting, I finally put in a bid for a solid brass shoehorn. I worry that it still might be too fancy for him, but I just fell in love with the little thing. If David decides it doesn't meet his tastes, then, heck, I'll hang it on my wall. I have no idea how old it is, but it's quite fetching, and it comes with a nice littl [...]
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Shoehorn Sadness
October 7, 2008Well I told hundreds (if not thousands) of people about the shoehorn. I told so many people that I had this little fantasy about David himself hearing this nice little story, getting a warm and fuzzy feeling inside, and picking up the phone and calling me to thank me in advance. This is how I imagined the conversation going:
Me: Hello
Him: Hi Alisa? This is David Sedaris. I understand you are my biggest fan.
Me: Who is this really? Is this some sort of cruel joke?
Him: Um, no, this is really David Sedaris.
Me: Okay, I'm not so sure. I'll need you to prove it. Please name all of your books in the order they were written. Then name all of your siblings. Then, I need your boyfriend's name. Oh, and the country where you currently reside, your former favorote brand of cigarettes, the costume you once wore to make money over the holidays, the name of your former pet spider, and the name of the woman who used to live accross the hall when you were in New York.
He rattles off this [...]
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He likes it! He really likes it!
October 6, 2008So I opened email this morning and found a message from Mike (aka agent) that said,"Congratulations. It's great! Let's talk."
Then I did laps through the house. Then I read the email again. Then I did a few more laps.
I know, perhaps it shouldn't be a big surprise. I suppose I'm more surprised than you all are. But it's a huge relief. Just huge.
Now, that said, there are a few things he wants me to tinker with before sending the book out, but they are minor. Overall, it's there. I'm so close to moving from Operation Write the Book and onto Operation Shoehorn.
What's Operation Shoehorn? Let me tell you. I have this dream of having David Sedaris, my favorite writer of all time, blurb the book. My only problem? I'm sure I'm not the only nobody writer who's had this idea. He probably gets 100s of unsolicited manuscripts a month. Why should he read mine?
Well, I'm hoping he'll read it 1) Because I'm repped by an agency, which gives me a little more clout than a writer who is not [...]
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He's Reading the Book
October 4, 2008So my agent has had my memoir for a month. He hasn't read a page. I know this because he happens to know all about my neurotic personality and occasionally takes pity on me by emailing me and letting me know, "Haven't gotten to it yet, but I will very soon."
I'm not the kind of client who asks for much. I'm really not. Some people are squeaky wheels. Others are WD40. I'm the WD40 variety. But this week I got squeaky. One, I just couldn't stand it anymore. Two, I'm waiting on him to tell me that it's "there" before I take things the next step and send the manuscript out for pre-blurbs.
So I asked him if he could read it sooner than later. He promised to read it this weekend.
Now I'm sitting here and all I can think about is him sitting around with that big honking manuscript. I'm trying to imaging his face. Smiling? Laughing? Bored? Worried about how he'll break the bad news?
Oh, it's just torture.
But hopefully it will be over Monday. That is, if he keeps his promise. One wa [...]
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Could I be any more exhausted?
October 3, 2008Have you ever woken tired? That's how I've felt nearly everyday this week. At first I blamed it on the weather. Then I blamed it on hormones. Today, I woke with that acidic burn in the back of my throat, you know the kind one gets from post nasal drip.
"Oh great, I'm getting sick," I thought.
All I want to do right now is go back to sleep. I'm craving it. My body aches. My throat hurts. My eye balls ache. But I have a training session with Capessa in 20 minutes and if I take a nap right now, I might not get back up.
So I'm trying to distract myself--by writing a blog.
It's interesting: usually when I'm getting sick, I'm frustrated. I look at my to-do list and think, "I need to do all of that. Why am I being cursed with this virus?"
Today, however, I'm just at peace with the fatigue. After this training session, I'm heading right to my bed. I'm already in my jammies. All I need to do is walk a few yards and I'm there.
Oh, I can't wait.
Goal: from nobody to somebody in 5 m [...]
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The 168 hour work week
September 29, 2008So, as I said recently, I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. My site traffic is very close to 2000 monthly uniques. Self magazine just indicated that they are interested in having me write "sex" articles for them. I'm doing relationship articles for American Baby. I am the relationship queen for Capessa.
I'm so totally not a ghost writer any more.
But with the success comes confusion. For one, one of the reasons my web traffic has grown so quickly is that I'm advertising on Google. This isn't something I want to do forever, which means I need to come up with a way to keep the people who come to the site. I have an e-newsletter, but people are not exactly signing up for it like hotcakes. (I've always wondered about that expression. Do people line up for hotcakes like no tomorrow? I digress.)
So I've decided to do the Internet thing and give away something for free just for signing up, as if my entire site wasn't free as is. Which means I need to create something to gi [...]
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Let's spam the spammer
September 26, 2008You know, I check my web email obsessively, almost as obsessively as I check my site stats. And when I log into the webmail for my site, I get REALLY excited if there are 5 messages waiting for me. That means 5 people commented on my site, right? I'm so popular! People love me!
So not. What's usually waiting for me are 5 messages that read lik