Savor the Success

A quick recap for those of you who have not been reading along: I'm a ghostwriter who has been trying to break into real writing--memoir, first person, essay, blogging. I've been trying to promote my blog and build a platform for the book, which, thankfully, involve doing the same thing--PR.

And earlier this week, I saw that Fox's national morning show was looking for moms who do not believe in spanking. (They also wanted spankers, but I don't fit into that group!) I fired off an email. An hour later, I'm on the phone with a producer. He wants to talk to my husband. He wants to know if we can be in New York Thursday. I say, "Do dogs lick their butts?" (No I so totally did not say that! But you get the idea).

He pre-interviews my husband.

Then nothing.

This all went down Monday.

Tuesday comes and goes: no word.

Wednesday morning: still no word. I'm thinking, "Hey if I need to be in NY tonight and at your show at 7:30 a.m. for hair and makeup, I'm gonna need to board my dog. A little notice please?"

So I did the unthinkable. I called the producer. I got voice mail. I left a message.

He called me back! He said that the show had changed. Now they only wanted to interview moms. Forget the dads, he says. Moms do all of the spanking anyway. I say, "Right on. Who needs the dads? I make all of the decisions in this house. That's what moms do. Mom power all the way!" (Didn't really say that either. Sorry, just can't help myself here. It's what I wished I'd said).

So he says, "Well, here's the thing. You're still under consideration, but what we need is a mom who is willing to come on national TV and say that spanking is barbaric. We have a mom who belts her kids and thinks that belting is the right way to raise them. We need you to say that she's a barbarian."

Silence.

"Um, let me think this through."

That was so NOT the right answer.

"I mean, I don't agree with spanking. I think it's unnecessary. I have many interesting things to say about it. We've talked about it, you and I. You thought what I had to say was really interesting. But barbaric?"

Oh, so not what he wanted to hear.

"Okay, well, I'll take this into consideration..." he says. I knew I was losing him.

"Well let me think about this," I say. "This isn't my sound bite. I'm just thinking out loud here. This is what I have to say. Why would any parent want to make their child cry? Why would any parent want their children to fear them? I want my daughter to trust me. I want my daughter to feel comfortable coming to me to talk things over. I want her, when she's a teen and she's thinking about having sex, to feel safe asking me about it. Now do you think that would happen if I spanked her? I don't think so! No, she'd be too scared to talk to me about anything. More, spanking hurts the parent, too. Parents have to feel horrible when they are doing it. And there's an easier way, one that actually helps children learn to make better choices..."

"Okay, I'll be in touch," he says.

The call ends. I sit and stare into space.

Why couldn't I just say it was barbaric? I have no idea. I mean, I don't agree with it. That's for sure. But barbaric? The writer in me thinks that's the wrong word. It's not a word I would say. To me, barbaric is a torture chamber.

I just couldn't bring myself to say one word. One word!

So I probably won't be on national TV this time. They'll surely find someone who is willing to say that word.

And I'm okay with that. I really am. I'm glad my natural instinct was to stick to my values, even if that value was about a word choice. I'm not a sell out. I'm authentic. That counts for more than a TV spot.

But here's the thing: now that I've had time to sit with it? I think it's barbaric!

Oh the agony.

Alisa Bowman

Trying to Become a Somebody

www.projecthappilyeverafter.com